Sean Sullivan: Desiderata: Another View

This is another parody of the Desiderata. I wrote this during my time at Amherst College. Be assured that life isn't this bad, but it helps for a lightness of spirit to laugh at these extremes. (The original is on my philosophy page).


Go placidly amid the noise & haste, and remember what peace there may be in sleeping through breakfast. Do not speak the truth; it merely upsets the neighbors. Listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they assign your grades & sign your paycheck.

Avoid loud & aggressive persons; the wise will be confused & silent. If you compare yourself to others, you may discover that those in authority are no better than yourself. Enjoy your plans; society will not let you achieve them.

Keep interested in your career, however boring; for your life will be little more than work. Exercise caution in all things; for the world is full of trickery. Let this blind you to what virtue is; you will never find any, and it is best to abandon hope while it can still be excised.

Pretend you are who society wants you to be. Especially, do not recognize the humanity of others. In the face of all love & kindness, others will merely complain about the color of your tie.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, and make sure you join AARP. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from the fact that you are wasting your life. But do not distress yourself with reality. Much happiness is born of delusion & ignorance. Beyond church, ignore beauty & morality.

You are a child of the state, no less than the FDA & the IRS. You have a responsibility to pay your taxes & die in senseless wars. And whether or not it is clear to you, the state has no interest in your welfare & rights.

Therefore be at peace with Authority, in whatever manifestation He appears, and whatever your labors & position, in the noisy confusion of life make sure you observe all the laws.

With all its hope, ideals & religion, it is still a meaningless world. Be politically correct. Strive to make your boss happy.

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